by sherricrandall | Mar 31, 2014 | Uncategorized
Two weeks ago my sister’s life was forever changed. On an ordinary Thursday she lost her home and barn to a fire.
My sister and her family live a simple life out in the country where she loves to tend to her garden and animals. She fiercely loves her husband, three kids, grandson, and all the children she cares for as a Children’s Ministry Director at her church. She is kind, loving, and a wonderful sister.
Why her?
Three weeks ago, we met at Ikea, had lunch and looked at all the stuff we might need. Then we went over to the mall and looked at all the clothes and accessories we might need.
Smoke and fire clearly mark priorities.
She is thankful. She has nothing, nothing material left. But she has her family.
The morning after the fire, I wrote a post on Facebook explaining what happened and telling everyone she needed help. Beginning that afternoon people who have never met my sister started leaving clothes, shoes, diapers, cash, and gift cards on my front porch. My e-mail and phone were overflowing with messages of concern and love. My sister’s friends went to the store for her and bought all the necessities that we don’t think about: underwear, toothbrush, hairbrush, shoes. And silly things like Chap-stick, hand lotion, and nail clippers. Friends offered her a place to stay. Family arrived to care for them. Her church (and mine) began praying. My sister and her family could feel God’s love and care for them through the people in their lives.
Powerful prayer. Powerful care. Powerful community.
The last two years in Colorado have been brutal with all the damage caused by fires. I would read stories in the news about these families and think how sad for them. There were times when I would stop to pray and ask God to show them love and care. Then I would go on with my day. Now it is my family people are reading about.
How different it is when tragedy gets personal.
During a hard time most people don’t know what to do, so they do nothing. They may give the open and empty promise of “Call me if you need anything”. Having faced difficult times myself, I never called those people, because I didn’t even know what I needed. Friends and strangers who just show up are the ones who blessed me beyond words.
Next time God gives you an opportunity to be his loving arms, try these 4 ways to be a blessing:
Just show up. Even if you don’t know what to say, express that. Don’t wait to be asked, just do something.
Listen. Let them tell their story
Realize trauma is messy and hard , suspend all judgment and criticism. You really don’t know how you would react to something until you are in the middle of it.
Don’t forget them. Continue to show up for the long haul.
Two items were salvaged from my sister’s home. A prayer angel carved of wood. (My nephew found her sitting in the kitchen as if she was praying for all of them.) And a pewter bookend that is a replica of the famous Philadelphia sign of LOVE.
Tragedy reminds us, we need prayer and LOVE.
As a family, we stood in a circle outside the shell of my sister’s home. We cried. We laughed. We held hands. We prayed. Then we cheered. We cheered for new beginnings!
What are some ways you have reached out when tragedy strikes?
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
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by sherricrandall | Nov 21, 2013 | Uncategorized
What are you up to today? ” Just chillin” is the phrase the kids in my house say when they are just hanging out, doing nothing really, “just chillin”. I must confess as the mom I don’t have a lot of opportunities to just chill. I’m a little jealous of the “chillin” group. Somewhere along the way I think I lost the ability to chill. Always so much to do… cooking, cleaning, laundry, helping with homework, my job, my relationships, my list – you know – THE TO DO LIST. Do and chill are not usually used in the same sentence and I have become all about the do and very little about the chill.
I like to stay busy and productive. I have always been like this, even as a young girl I had a list of things to do and I loved checking them off one by one. As I grew up and became a mom, my list obviously grew with my demanding responsibilities of being the mom to four awesome kiddos. Chillin’ isn’t on my list.
About a month ago, my college age son had to have shoulder surgery and I traveled across the state to be his caregiver. I brought my eleven year old daughter along too. The first few days were busy with the task of caring for him post-operatively. Around the clock care and pain meds – doing. Then came the chill part… I must admit I struggled with that. I was in a Residence Inn with my two kids, thankfully my job allowed me to take the time off to care for my son, not my normal busy packed day. I checked my e-mail in the morning and checked in with the office, all was well. I checked back home with my husband, the other kiddos were just fine, the dogs were fine, all was fine! I look across the room and my son was in a deep slumber and my daughter was “chillin” watching a movie on her I-pad with her headphones on. What to do? There must be something… I did the laundry, no housework in a hotel really, now what…
I decided to take a long walk and I walked right into a delightful little coffee shop that was housed in an old historic home. The grounds were beautiful with the fall toned flowers bursting with color and golden leaves strewn across the lawn. As I walked up the path the smell of fresh brewed coffee and cinnamon rolls were amazing. Mingled with the fresh autumn air, my senses were awakened. A little sparrow perched on a tree branch looked over at me and tilted it’s little head as if to say hello as I approached the front door. I began browsing the little gift shop and had a sweet conversation with the elderly lady who was preparing my chai tea. She explained to me that all the proceeds helped fund the local hospice chapter. “Isn’t that lovely?” she said. Lovely indeed. As I walked back to our hotel, I realized it had been a long time since I had some free time. Oh how I have missed that, created by my own doing I must admit. The slowing down process is hard for those of us who strive all the time. I missed the all important point of ” just chillin”. When you chill you notice things like little birds and wonderful sights and smells. You visit with kind strangers and notice your own breathing. When I got back to the room my daughter asked the question, what are we doing today? “Just Chillin”, I replied. The rest of the day I enjoyed long talks about life with my now young adult son, enjoyed the movies and the laughter with my kids. My husband arrived that evening and the “chillin” state continued. I then looked at my calendar that night out of habit and on the next day I wrote in big letters ” JUST CHILLIN'”!
by sherricrandall | Oct 8, 2013 | Uncategorized
God Loves You Passionately
by Julie Gorman
I kissed my third-grader Sommer on her forehead, tucked her in snugly, and turned to call it a day. “Good night, sweetheart! See you in the morning.”
“Mommy!” Sommer’s voice cracked with emotion, calling me back to her side. I knew something was up.
“What is it, baby doll?” I asked while calmly brushing her golden locks from her tear-stained face.
“I. . . have . . . something . . . to tell . . . you.” Sommer’s sobbing caused her to sputter out her words.
“Okay. I’m listening.”
“I’m afraid!” Sommer’s body shook as she continued to sob uncontrollably.
“Honey, it’s okay. I’m here. You don’t have anything to be afraid of.” The light from our backyard spilled across Sommer’s little face.
“I’m afraid you won’t love me anymore. I’m afraid you’ll think I’m bad.”
I recognized Sommer’s look of shame all too well. “Oh, sweetheart, there is nothing you could tell me that would change my love for you. What is it? Go on, catch your breath, and then tell Mommy.”
Sommer took a deep breath. Then she spurted, “Do you remember Cody from back in kindergarten?”
“Yes.” I paused, waiting for her to continue.
“Well, remember how I told you he kissed me?”
“Yes.” Again, I waited.
“Well, actually I kissed him. Can you ever forgive me?! Will you ever trust me again after lying to you?”
My heart felt relieved—and yet sorry at the same time that this had festered within her for three years. Is that what all this fuss was about? Oh, my precious little girl. How much I love you! “Sommer, of course I forgive you. Thank you for telling Mommy the truth. And, yes I still trust you. Sweetheart, I love you forever and ever!”
As we shared big hugs and little kisses, Sommer’s body relaxed. “Thank you, Mommy. I am so sorry.”
“I forgive you, baby girl, and I love you with all of my heart,” I whispered. As I touched her arm softly and watched her drift into sleep, I couldn’t help thinking of God’s love. How many times had I tried to keep something from Him? How many times had Satan convinced me I was unlovable and unworthy? How many times had I seen the guilt of my sin and then headed in the opposite direction, only to feel the weight of condemnation, fear, and shame? How many times had I wondered if God would really love me if He knew everything? Would He still accept me? (And did I honestly think God didn’t already know?)
Where are you, emotionally? What keeps you from fully embracing His love? What causes you to step back when He calls you to step forward? What patterns and paradigms war against your intimacy with Him? Do the past sins that others have done against you hinder you? How about unforgiveness? Wounds? Your own past sins? Do actions from your past taint your ability to accept God’s love in the present? Do you put conditions on God’s love, disqualifying it with shame and regret?
Do you realize that you are God’s masterpiece? (You are, you know!) You were created in His image. Before God created the foundations of the earth, He established His plans for your life. He destined you for good works. He knew you by name and provided a plan of salvation to graft you into His family. You are His child.
The enemy tries to convince you to hide from God, to withdraw from Him. Satan whispers accusations, reminding you of all the times you let God down. His mission is to steal, to kill, and to destroy you. He points out all of your inadequacies, and denounces your worth. He condemns your insufficiencies, and assaults you with feelings of shame. And in the process, the entire world becomes tainted.
However, the Holy Spirit lovingly whispers, Draw near to Me and confess your sins, that you might be forgiven. He reminds you of His plan of salvation and declares what Christ accomplished for you. Jesus’ mission was to seek and save the lost. He came that you might experience the fullness of life. God declares His grace is sufficient for your weakness. He shouts that you are loved beyond measure. He covers you with His holiness and pronounces you forgiven. Listen closely! Can you sense His presence? Do you feel His forgiveness?
God invites you to enter into a deeper relationship with Him. He wants to reveal His thoughts to you, and desires to fill you with His power. He went to great lengths to rescue you and wants you to enjoy all the benefits of His presence.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt.”
JeremIah 31: 3-4
Excerpted from What I Wish My Mother Had Told Me About Men by Julie Gorman. Copyright ©Julie Gorman. Published by Authentic Publishers. Used by permission. Visit Julie’s website and hear her radio program at juliegorman.com.
by sherricrandall | Aug 28, 2013 | Uncategorized
“Please tell me you’re happy”. Those words caught me off guard this week as I was grumbling about in my backyard picking weeds. I looked up to see a young mom standing at my back fence. She had two toddlers strapped into a jogging stroller, they were fighting over the Cheerios container and she looked weary. I came over to where she was standing and before I answered her I took a deep breath as a million thoughts were racing through my mind, the two most prevalent were… do I tell her the truth and quite frankly why is she asking me such a loaded question, I don’t even know her. The reality being I was not happy at that moment. The list was long… my son’s dog ate my favorite pair of shoes, I just yelled at my kids for not helping enough around the house, I was annoyed with my husband over something trivial, my air conditioner was broken and we were going to reach 96 degrees, I was missing my son who I just took to college, let’s see what else could I add to the- “ I’m not happy list”. Instead I said,” I guess it depends on the day, why do you ask?” She proceeded to tell me that she walks by house almost every day and she loves looking over the fence into my garden. She told me she pictured nothing but happiness at my house because the yard was so pretty. She proceeded to tell me how she was having such a bad day and all the things that were going wrong with her life. It took me less than a minute to realize how my grumpy heart had no right to be un-happy. This young mom was struggling and she just poured her heart out to a stranger. I felt this was my opportunity to share a little with her.
I told her that on most days I am happy. The crazy thing about happy is that happy is so deeply tied to our circumstances. There are days when I just don’t feel happy. As a matter of fact, she caught me at a very unhappy moment. I told her I try very hard to choose joy instead of happiness. I now found myself waist deep into an even deeper conversation with this sweet young mom. I told her to look closely where I was just standing. Did she see those thistles? If you look at my garden from the back fence you are only seeing it from one angle, you don’t see the weeds. From her vantage point the garden did look pretty. I pointed out the weeds to her and I could see the disappointment on her face. I then pointed her to the daisies and roses in full bloom and I told her the garden is still pretty it just has weeds. Life can be messy but it is still beautiful. I was saying all of those things not only to encourage her but to remind myself that we are all works in progress this side of heaven.
I think as women we play this game a lot. We look at another woman and we see how cute they are and how well behaved their children are and we think badly of ourselves. We look at other women and their lives from the same view point this young mom had seen my garden, peering over the fence from a distance. The reality is we all have mess in our lives. There are always going to be thistles in the garden so to speak. So our challenge is we can either be grumpy or joyful. I also told her it is important not to gloss over the mess. I reminded her I was pulling the weeds. I don’t want them in my garden.
We hugged over the fence and went our separate ways. I think God knew she needed encouragement from a stranger and I needed a good reminder to choose joy despite the days circumstances. Today as I was watering my flower pots on the deck I noticed my new friend once again peering over the fence. This time she smiled and gave me thumbs- up. Today she chose to look through the mess and see the beauty that is life !
by sherricrandall | Jul 8, 2013 | Uncategorized
Going to church has always been a part of what I do on Sunday morning. My parents took me to church as a little girl and I married a man whose family did the same, so naturally we have made church going a high priority for our family. I never was dragged to church, I actually loved going as a little girl and even as a teenager. For the past six years I have been employed by a church so needless to say I spend a lot of time at church!
I gave my email to a store clerk the other day and she noted I worked for a church. Her response was ” I don’t need church, just a bunch of hypocrites ready to judge me and my bad decisions”. I told her maybe she was going to the wrong church since we all make bad decisions. She just chuckled.
I have at times felt frustrated over the years with complaints we receive at the church. Everyone has a style of worship that they like or don’t like. Many times the complaints feel very self centered and not God centered. We do live in a consumer driven society and our churches are not exempt.
I witnessed something yesterday morning that motivated me to look deep into my heart and my posture of worship. Yesterday was not any different than the last Sunday or the Sunday before that. I got my seat in my usual spot, my coffee of choice in the cup holder in front of me and my Bible pulled up on my I- phone, ready to go. We started to sing worship songs and I noticed an elderly gentleman sitting with his family in front of me. Advanced in years made it hard for him to get into his seat. There came a time in the worship where we were invited to stand by the worship leader and sing the remainder of the song with he and the band. I watched as this gentleman who was dressed in a suit and tie ( most others around him in casual summer clothing) struggled to get to his feet. His daughter whispered “Pops, you don’t have to get up again” to which he replied ” Oh yes I do” – then he stood shaking and raised his hands and sang and worshiped the Lord. His act of worship moved me to tears. He wore his best clothes and struggled to give his best worship. He was at church !
I wish I could say I am always that eager to worship, but if I am honest there are many Sundays where I am distracted and not always as focused as I could be. I am inspired to bring my best each day and truly worship. God doesn’t just show up in our lives on Sundays so we should show up each day for Him as well. What if we told our spouses or kids we only would spend and hour a week with them. Do you think we would have a strong relationship with those we love? Why do we think we can do that with God. Great relationships need quality time put into them.
My encouragement to you is to set aside time each day to truly worship. The elderly man could have just remained seated, it would have been a lot easier,yet he chose to worship and so should we.
Blessings !
Sherri
by sherricrandall | Jun 18, 2013 | Uncategorized
Did you ever play the blinking game when you were a kid? My sisters and brother and I would play for hours on our summer vacation road trips. Who could last the longest without blinking. We thought it was great fun, each one sure if we blinked we would miss out on something.
I have felt that way lately as my son finished his senior year of high school, went through a recruiting process to play college football, selected a school, and now we have 7 weeks left before he heads off to school to begin this exciting new phase of his life. Wasn’t it yesterday that he graduated from pre-school and began playing flag football? I am shocked at how fast those years went by.
Reflecting on how time passes so quickly reminded me of a conversation I had with a middle aged women when I was a younger mom with four kiddos just trying to maneuver my way through the grocery store. The older boys were picking at each other. The usual poking, pinching, pushing game that young boys love to play. My younger son was crying because he wasn’t going home with a box of Fruit Loops, and my infant daughter was crying because she really needed a nap. I am sure I looked frazzled when this sweet lady said to me “ Your gonna miss this one day”. I just smiled, half appreciative of her kind smile and half annoyed as I was thinking to myself, “ miss what”. As she began to talk she told me she too had four kids, all either married or in college and scattered around the country. She went on to say how she wished for the times when they were all under one roof, naptime, cuddletime, simpler times of raising preschoolers and young children. We had a sweet exchange and I left the store that day determined to enjoy the rest of my day and embrace the chaos of raising four children. Her words and love for her family left a lasting impression on me.
No one really understands what they are getting into when they become a mom. How do we embrace each stage and live in that season, not wishing for the next phase to come. How do we embrace mothering? When we embrace someone to give them a hug, we hold them with affection. To embrace mothering we have to be eager and willing to hold on tight to that belief that what we do as moms matter. Fixing dinner and doing laundry matters. Not checking our Facebook status to read what others are doing, but really being and doing with the ones we love, the ones God has entrusted to our care. Those small choices make a big difference.
How funny our childhood memories are…they feel so random. When I thought about my own special memories and asked my kids about theirs, none of us thought about whether or not the house was perfectly clean. All of the good memories involved spending time together. Yes all those chores will get done, and then again, maybe they won’t. Embrace the challenge of being in the moment.
This past week I enjoyed a family vacation in Mexico. One afternoon in the pool I was watching this little boy learn how to swim. He started the day wearing his arm floaties and by mid afternoon he was swimming across the pool into his Dad’s arms. He swam next to me and proudly stated, ” I can swim all by myself and I’m going to kindergarten this fall.” He was adorable. Sitting next to me was my son, 225 pound ,18 year old young man getting ready to start college in the fall. He too learned how to swim to his daddy in Mexico. Wasn’t that just yesterday? Now on this trip he was far more interested in the girls in bikinis and talking to his friends about their plans for the fall. My son said to this little boy, “ Don’t Blink” – I remember starting kindergarten and now I am starting college in the fall.” Then they both swam off leaving me to my sweet memories of my little boy and the hope for new memories to be made with this charming young man who calls me mom.
Blessings !
Sherri
