You Deserve to Be in the Frame
There is a photograph that I treasure, it sits in my family room and I love glancing at it often. This photo is one of my favorites, not because everyone looks their best, it actually captured a moment in time where we were struggling. I love it because everyone in it was there, despite our circumstances.
That is the whole point.
Somewhere along the way, many of us began to believe that we had to earn our place in the frame. That we needed to wait until we had lost the weight, cleared up our skin, grown our hair back, or finally just felt like we were enough before we deserved to be seen. So we stepped behind the camera. We said, “No, you go ahead.” We made ourselves the memory keeper while quietly erasing ourselves from the memory.
Friends, I want to challenge that kind of thinking with you today.
I find myself in that place of self-consciousness in a new way recently. Chemotherapy is taking my hair, and with it, honestly, a little piece of the version of myself I was used to seeing in the mirror. I know what it feels like to hesitate before stepping into the photo. I know the whisper that says, not now, not yet. Maybe wait until I look more like myself again.
But here is what I have decided to do instead. This is what I have come to believe with my whole heart… this is myself. This is the version who I am right here and right now. In this season, with this face, the lack of hair, in this beautiful hard and holy moment, I am here. And the people I love deserve to have proof that I was here with them.
YOU and your people deserve that too.
Whether it’s the number on the scale that’s been haunting you, the postpartum body you haven’t made peace with, the gray roots or the tired eyes or the scar you don’t want to explain, none of that disqualifies you from being present. None of that makes you less worthy of being remembered.
Proverbs 31 speaks of a woman whose children rise up and call her blessed. Not because she looked a certain way, but because of how she showed up. We are told she showed up faithfully and consistently, fully in the middle of a full life. I believe God sees us the same way. He looks at our heart and I believe our loved ones do too. Your heart, your presence, and your love is what the people around you really see when they look at a photo of you.
Years from now, your child will not remember that your arms looked a certain way in that photo from their birthday party. They will remember that you were there. You will have proof that you were and that will become a cherished memory. Your grandchildren won’t critique the lines on your face at Christmas dinner. They will hold that picture close because it means that you were a part of it.
The negative self talk can be loud. I know that, but it is lying to you.
Here is what I am telling myself and what I want to tell you too… You are not too much or too little. You are not a before photo waiting to become the after (fill in the blank). You are a woman right now. A women who is living, loving and leaving a legacy with every moment you choose to step into instead of away from.
So the next time someone holds up a camera, take a deep breath. Straighten your shoulders and get in the picture. You were made for such a time as this. Not a future, polished version of you, THIS YOU, today!